Behold, The Bitchin’ Bowl…
It’s the cousin to the much-beloved Badass Bowl featured in my Performance Paleo Cookbook.
This is one of my favorite take-to-work lunches because it looks like a pretty normal mid-day nosh. (No risk of co-workers complaining how you, “Stank up the break room with your fish leftovers.”)
The Bitchin’ Bowl also makes a simple and budget-friendly weeknight dinner. It comes together in a flash.
Let’s see…what else do I love about The Bitchin’ Bowl?
- There are no “rules.” Just because my BB has certain ingredients doesn’t mean they’re set in stone. Hate tomatoes? Leave them out. Need guacamole or else someone’s gonna get shanked? Definitely include that. Use whatever is local to you and seasonal, or whatever’s on sale.
- It’s pretty budget-friendly. Ground meat and veggies are usually quite easy on the wallet. I shop the sales when I can and freeze ground meat for quick meals just like this. Pop it out of the freezer a day or two before, get it into the fridge to defrost, and you’re ready for a quick Bitchin’ Bowl when you get home for dinner. For the biggest bang for your buck, rice the cauliflower yourself.
- You can carb it up or down. Your diet should be dependent on your needs. Doing a lot of intense physical training? You’ll generally need more carbs. Sedentary and working on repairing your insulin sensitivity? You might be good with fewer carbs. To carb it up, swap white rice for cauli rice. To carb it down, trade the plantain chips for something like sliced jicama or extra green veggies.
Why The Bitchin’ Bowl Helps You Keep It Simple
The Bitchin’ Bowl really fits my motto and food philosophy of KISS: Keep It Super Simple.
It’s got all the macronutrients covered. There’s protein from the grass-fed ground beef. The veggies and plantain chips have carbohydrates. And the guacamole gives it another boost of healthy fats.
But beyond that, there’s tons of micronutrients – vitamins, minerals, phytochemicals, antioxidants – and fiber that really boost this above any fast food bowl.
Adding the greens ups the healthy factor, too…
What Kind of Greens are Healthiest?
So feel free to up the quantity or mix up a bunch of different greens that suit your tastebuds.
I grabbed a bad of Trader Joe’s Cruciferous Crunch to make the Bitchin’ Bowl I photographed here. It’s got a nice blend of kale, collards, purple cabbage, and Brussels sprouts. By no means is that a requirement, though. Dark leafy greens tend to be your best bet for the healthiest veggies.
Remember: KISS. Use what’s available to you. We’ve all got different markets with different produce. Some of it is really seasonally dependent.
When you can learn to change things up and be flexible in your cooking, that’s when it becomes lots more fun.
Keep in mind, you can change up the flavors and ingredients to whatever you like, so take my recipe below as a Bitchin’ Bowl guideline and run with it…
Bitchin' Bowl Recipe (Paleo, Gluten-Free)
My Bitchin' Bowl is the ultimate in easy dinners, and it's super healthy. Seasoned ground beef, cauli rice, and guacamole make it delish!
- 3 tbsp avocado oil or olive oil
- 1.5 lb grass-fed ground beef
- 2 tbsp Taco Seasoning I like Primal Palate or chili powder
- 1 medium head cauliflower riced
- 1 lb greens kale, cabbage, etc chopped
- 8 oz pico de gallo or salsa
- 1 pint cherry tomatoes halved
- 8 oz guacamole *
- 6 oz plantain chips
- Cilantro for garnish, chopped
- Sea salt and black pepper to taste
In a large skillet (I prefer cast iron) over medium-high heat, warm 1 tbsp of the oil until shimmering. Add the ground beef and taco seasoning, cooking and stirring until the meat is no longer pink, about 8 minutes. Remove the meat to a medium bowl.
Put the same skillet back on the stove over medium-high heat again, and add 1 tbsp of oil. Add the cauliflower rice and a generous pinch of sea salt and pepper. Cook and stir until the cauliflower rice is semi-soft but not mushy, about 5 minutes. Remove the cauliflower rice to another bowl.
Finally, put the same skillet back on the stove over medium-heat, and add the last 1 tbsp of oil. Add the chopped greens, cooking and stirring until they soften, about 5 mintues.
Build your Bitchin' Bowl. Presentation is what makes the Bitchin' Bowl look special...but you can totally just throw everything in the bowl if you want. Add the meat, cauliflower rice, and greens. Then add the fresh tomato, salsa, guacamole, and plantain chips. Garnish with chopped cilantro.
*If you're making guacamole from scratch, you'll need about 2 ripe avocados for 4 servings.
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