energy tips for empaths podcast art episode 206 harder to kill radio

Energy Tips for Empaths

Being an empath is a gift, but it’s often a challenge to manage.

energy tips for empaths podcast art episode 206 harder to kill radio

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Energy Tips for Empaths

I wasn’t even aware that I’m an empath until I was an adult, and suddenly a lot of my life made sense. My highly sensitive nature, introversion, and the ease with which I absorb energy from the people around me finally clicked. I’m not crazy…I’m just an empath.

As an empath who is a known person and a healer, I dance with the dynamic between leaning into and using my gifts while at the same time not being crushed by them. The boundary between letting myself stay open as an empath and taking it all on is often razor thin and completely blurry.

In this episode, I’m sharing some common empath traits and how I personally try to manage my energy as an empath. Included are five of my go-to strategies for protecting myself from taking on OPE (other people’s energy). I’m not perfect at these. It’s an ever-evolving practice, but it’s essential.

On Today’s Episode

  • A quick book update
  • Pros and cons of personality tests
  • Ten common empath traits
  • 5 tips I use for managing my energy

Resources Mentioned In This Show

Thanks for Listening!


Hey there, welcome to episode 206 of harder to kill Radio. I’m Steph Gaudreau, your host. And you have landed on a Friday edition of the show, which I lovingly call fierce love Friday, where I get on the mic solo.

Of course, Tuesdays, I bring an expert guest on to the show, and we do an interview style format. So today is going to be me on the mic. And I’m going to be talking about being an empath and how I cope with it. Both well and not well. And recently, this has come up for me, just something that I’ve been dealing with trying to manage in my own life.

And I think that this may be helpful for those of you out there who are a bit more on the empathic side of things. And some of the things that I use as strategies to cope manage deal with, however you want to say. So being an empath being somebody who’s highly empathic. Of course, before we jump in, I’d love to invite you to pre order the core four, that’s my new book that’s coming out on July 30, which is speeding ever so quickly, here.

I started writing the book in December of 2017. And here we are over a year and a half later, and it felt like it was going to take for forever to arrive. But here we are, the date is rapidly approaching.

And when you preorder before July 30, I will send you all of the great pre order bonuses that go along with the book, I wrote these preorder bonuses and created them myself, because I really wanted to give you extra support extra ways of really interacting with and accessing the content in the core four book, so that you get the most out of it. Because this isn’t just a book that you’re supposed to passively read and store the information back in your brain somewhere and maybe someday pull it out.

Rather, it’s a book that really gets you to act and try things and experiment and learn from those experiences. So I created the bonuses so that you could get the most out of your reading experience so that when you take action, you’re able to do that in a way that’s really impactful. And on that note, the book is now off to print, which is terrifying, is terrifying and exciting at the same time. And it’s terrifying because I’ve had so many opportunities now to go back and change things.

And even over a year and a half. I mean, think about that a year and a half is quite. It’s it’s not a long time, that is a long time. And really the core for the genesis of that came from the healthy happy harder to kill program, which I created in 2015. So think about four years. I mean, that’s the it’s just a long time. And how I say things, how I explain things what’s at top of mind lately that has changed and grown and evolved over time. And my friend, Amy soon said it really well when she said something to the effect of a book is it’s a snapshot of time, but it’s also permanent.

And that’s why it’s terrifying slash exciting, because it is a snapshot of time. And I always want to keep adding things and refining and all that good stuff. But at some point, the book must go to print, and it did last Friday. So it’s off to get printed. And fairly soon, we should have actual real copies, hardcover copies of just beautiful print and all of the great things that go along with that.

So wow, such an exciting time, but also makes me a little bit terrified, because I’m like, could I have said that better? This is me being 100% straight up with you, you know, could I have said that better? Did I use the right words? And there were definitely times where I was going over the same sentence over and over and over again and changing how I said it and what what was the intention in that sentence? How what was the implication of that sentence?

What was the connotation of that sentence? And I didn’t do that for every single sentence of the book. But there were definitely areas where I tried super hard to make sure that I was coming at it from a well rounded approach from an approach that does not use shame and deprivation and punishment to help you elicit change in your own life and

to really help you embrace your body and own your power, as as the subtitle says. So I’ll definitely be doing more of a deep dive on the book. And that was a bit of an aside. Needless to say, it’s, we’re getting very close. So I want to send you the preorder bonuses, you can do that at core four. That’s the number four core for the Order from your favorite online retailer, go to core for the, enter your name, and email address and where you got the book from, and then I will send those to you via email. It’s super duper easy. Alright, so today’s episode is going to be how I deal with being an empath. And

sometimes I don’t deal with it very well, as I said earlier in the show, but I always try to, to share things from my own experience with you, because it may resonate there, we may want to take things that I talk about and apply them or try them out, test them out.

But I really strive to be open and transparent with you about the things that I struggle with, because so many people are also dealing with it. And in the past, I’ve done a show about being a highly sensitive person, it’s called sensitive, I will link that in the show notes. And suffice to say there are a lot of overlaps between being a highly sensitive person and being an empath.

They’re not exactly the same, but a lot of people shared both of those characteristics and traits. And I’ve also talked about being an INFJ, which is the Myers Briggs Personality Type, which is very introverted, and intense tends to also overlap with a lot of the traits of being an empath being an intuitive being a highly sensitive person.

And while I don’t subscribe to the to the notion that personality tests are definitive, and they are rigid, and if we are we aligned as a particular personality type, or we took a test, and it showed us that we are a particular personality type, that we have to live by that as our destiny. But I do think that it helps to understand how you may find yourself reacting in patterns to things that happen in your life. I just drilled all over myself, I was amazing.

And learning about being an empath, learning that there was something called an empath. Same thing for when I learned about highly sensitive person, which is very recent, in my in the span of my life, I’ve probably known about the designation of highly sensitive person for about four years, learning about an app being an empath, holy shit, my life, all of a sudden made a lot of sense. And again, I don’t take this as permission to necessarily act in negative ways and say, like, oh, that’s just my personality type. But I think that it could shed some light on things for you.

And if you find yourself, as I’m going through today’s episode, thinking, This is me, then there are some tools, strategies, etc, that you can use there, you may decide to go out on on the internet and find more resources, more websites, books, and dive in a little bit deeper to that.

So recently, this has come up with me, especially with this push pull that I’m experiencing and getting ready for the book and, and really getting ready to I have spent a while now since I was kind of writing the book almost a bit more isolated it on purpose to give myself the space and the time and I traveled a lot less I made very few public selling book and Kim Kardashian, I made very few public appearances. Like I didn’t go to a lot of conferences until this spring, and I really tried to give myself the time and energy that I needed to really work on the book and write the book and all this stuff.

But for me as an empath, there’s this really tricky thing of I, part of how I communicate with people and one of my strengths is that I do understand what it’s like, and I can relate to people I know where they’re coming from, I feel what they’re feeling. And then on the other hand,

that if I’m not aware, and I’m not careful, I oftentimes find myself in a kind of a tricky spot because I have absorbed a lot of energy. I’ve absorbed a lot of things from the people that I am trying to help and this is a very cool

classic sign of being an empath. So I wanted to share with you the sort of 10 common traits of being an empath. And this comes from Dr. Judith ortloff, and I will link her post here. So this is not something I created. This is not a list I made up myself, but I think it’s really telling.

And these are 10 common traits of being an empath. Now, there’s no magic number here where it’s like, if you got eight, you’re definitely an empath. And if you got five, you’re nowhere you’re not an empath. But if you find yourself identifying with this list of traits, you quite possibly, especially if you identify strongly, or you these are a lot of these are true for you may be an empathic person. And here’s the thing. We’re all we as human beings have the capacity to be empathetic.

That’s not what an empath is.

We all feel people’s feelings. And we you know, we all do a lot of the things that you are going to hear on this list. It’s like the degree to which one feels these things or associates with these things that really makes it so the first one is, these are again, from Dr. Judith Orloff.

She writes a lot about being an empath, you can go find her stuff online is fantastic. She has books and all that good stuff. These are 10 common traits of empaths. They are highly sensitive, they absorb other people’s emotions, they are introverted. They are often highly intuitive. They need alone time,

they can become overwhelmed in intimate relationships.

They are often targets for energy vampires,

they become replenished in nature. And they have big hearts, but sometimes give too much.

I relate strongly to all of those things. And again, I think, you know, a lot of times people who are empathic, or intuitive or highly sensitive are seen as weak, it’s a sign of weakness, it’s a fault. It’s something that’s negative, it’s something we have to overcome. And I do believe that these things are gifts. However, if we are not careful, then they oftentimes become

stumbling blocks for us, they drain us, they leave us feeling so depleted, and like we have taken on everyone else’s stuff.

And it’s really interesting for me, So personally,

I have and I’ll share some of the strategies, strategies that I use with you and how I manage this. And it’s a work in progress, it’s a practice, it’s never perfect. One of the things that I notice the most, when I have not been using the strategies that I’m going to share with you one of the ways that I can tell that I have taken on too much of other people’s energy I was ope

if you grew up in in the early, early 90s, and you listen to opp then like this is other people’s energy. If you take on other people’s energy for me, I feel a physiological a physical sensation in my body and it’s my throat,

I feel a tightness in my throat that I cannot get rid of. And that is the one for me that’s like the trigger. That’s the physical physical or physiological sensation to me that I have gone too far. Stef, you got to rein it in, you have gone too far, you have taken too much. You’ve taken on too much. And I feel it in my throat. Now, interestingly enough, the throat chakra Vishuddha. The fifth chakra is associated with impasse. And when I get this physical, physical, and I didn’t know that until very, very recently, when I get that sensation,

it’s like I cannot I cannot speak and I’m not saying physically speak I could actually talk What I mean is I feel I cannot teach, I cannot share I cannot create.

And so the fifth fifth chakra the throat is also known as kind of the seat of communication and creativity and self expression. And I feel like my voice is literally cut off when I’m in that mode and this whole like for probably two weeks I have felt like I’m in this zone. I’m in this mode, right I’ve realized I’ve taken on too much. And I haven’t had that the physical sensation everyday but damn, it’s been so hard. I’ve actually put off recording any podcasts for fierce love Friday, because I just felt like I had nothing to say

I have nothing to say, I could not. And even posting on social media, every every evening, or every morning, if I post on Instagram, for example, I just felt like I had absolutely nothing to say or teach.

From the perspective of I couldn’t just cannot use my my voice is so so so interesting how that works. And again, I’m I’m at the very beginning of understanding like how a lot of these different perspectives, integrate, and different. Looking at more of an Eastern perspective, looking at how this sort of energy can impact other things in the body, and so on and so forth. Needless to say,

I kind of went into my bag of tricks the other day and started pulling things out, because I noticed for probably two days in a row, I was having that feeling in my throat. Now maybe you have that feeling. In other places, if you are empathic, and you realize that you’ve taken on too much of other people’s energy.

It’s just a really interesting invitation to observe your body because oftentimes your body does give you those signs. So here’s how I’ve been, here’s kind of my five go to things that I use. And again, it’s a practice, it’s not perfect. Sometimes I completely fucked these up, and I don’t do any of them. And other times, I leaned very heavily on them, because I need it. So the first way I work on kind of managing that energy is saying no to a lot of stuff.

And in fact saying no, probably more than I say yes. And empaths are oftentimes people pleasers, right, because we just we want to give, we want to give, we want to help people. And then again, we’ve oftentimes go too far. So I say no, a lot, especially when I’m feeling this way. It’s absolutely essential. And saying no is not easy at first, because we don’t want to let people down.

But I think it was Molly Galbraith. Very recently, who posted on Instagram, something like, you know, we, essentially we teach people how to treat us by how we set boundaries. So if if we don’t set boundaries, and we teach people that it’s okay to take advantage, even if they’re not trying to take advantage from a nefarious point of view, but we teach them that it’s okay. Or if we have boundaries, we teach them that, hey, we have boundaries, and we’re not going to say no, yes to everything, and so on and so forth.

And then oftentimes, when we go to reinforce those boundaries, then there’s a bit of friction, because it’s different from how we’ve been operating. And so I’ve talked about saying no, on the show before, I will say this, if you are an empath, and you are a bit more on the sensitive and looking for a more gentle way of saying no, the one that I use a lot is something like

in coaching, when we when I used to coach weightlifting in the gym, we would have kind of a way of giving feedback called the shit sandwich, which was you say something positive, followed by something to improve. And then you end with something positive. So that the the constructive feedback in the middle was not the thing that led off the conversation.

And so typically, I try to use a shit sandwich in a nice way for saying no, which is, thanks for asking, but I don’t have space for that. I really appreciate you thinking of me, or I really appreciate you asking me or I really appreciate you reaching out. And that way, it’s gracious, it puts the onus on myself and saying I don’t have space for that rather than you know, you should have known I can’t do this or something like that, where you’re blaming the other person.

So saying no, a lot more. And I think that kind of leads into, or it dovetails kind of nicely with the the energy vampire aspect. Again, I don’t think everybody that asks things of another human is doing it from a negative point of view or is just trying to be an energy vampire. But I feel like sometimes being very open and wanting to help get to empaths in trouble because we just want to do everything for everybody. And some people do want to take advantage. So that’s one say no, a lot more. Number two, having quiet time every day. And I’m not saying that it has to be an hour of uninterrupted meditation. But if you’re an empath, Sister You have got to carve out a little bit of quiet or alone time.

And that’s just essential because being oftentimes highly sensitive in conjunction and being really sensitive to things like noise or activity or commotion or whatever else is going on. Sometimes we just need that to feel very grounded, and like life is not frenzied and frazzled.

And I understand if you have your child caring, or whatever it is, sometimes that’s not always easy, but even just five or 10 minutes of your time, what maybe that means you just sit in your car, when you get home from work or, you know, you’ve have that just quiet alone time to recharge a little bit. And of course, that that also is connected to being introverted.

The third thing that I use is use a meditation app or some other kind of guided meditation. I really like headspace as an app, I had the free version for a really long time, I am not sponsored by them. hashtag not sponsored. But it’s just one that I’ve really come to like, because it has a lot of different options. It has short meditations, long meditations, a different focus, different types, different styles.

The other thing that I really like, personally, is sound bath meditation, using things like crystal bowls, or singing bowls, and I’ve had to go through a lot of them before I find ones that give me a tone that I really like, because that’s somebody who’s highly sensitive. If the noise is the sound is very grating to me, then that has the opposite of the intended effect.

But having some way if I’m unable to calm my own mind of attaching to some kind of sound, or music, or whatever it is, so that’s been very helpful for me. Number four being outside. This is super important for me as an empath being able to sort of reconnect my energy to the energy of the earth. And sometimes that means just going out in weeding my tiny little small garden of four feet by six feet, I mean, it could be taking a walk, it could be going in sitting in a park, it doesn’t have to be you’re gonna go on like some amazing vacation into nature or go on to like a huge, long vacation or Trek or whatever. It could just be sitting outside and observing what’s going on in the world around you. And I think it’s really interesting that those 10 traits that I listed earlier, which I’ve just about recently found that article, but one of them is you find replenishment in nature.

And of course, we know Shinrin, Yoku, and forest bathing, and all these different things have such, you know, amazing effects on us, and just a great way to sort of decompress. And then the last one is visualizing other people’s energy leaving my body. And when I shared this post on Instagram, a bunch of people shared how they do that. And there are so many great examples. So or things that they say mantras like, they’re, you know, they’re releasing the energy back to the sender, I mean, you name it, there are so many different ways that you can send that energy back, release that energy, remove that energy from your body. I’m a very visual person. So I like to visualize that energy is leaving my body. Sometimes it’s a color. Sometimes, I mean, I just visualize so many different things.

I’ve visualized it as, like cutting a cord, right, where I’m tethered to another person by their energy, and I want to cut that cord and send them away. I know some people will imagine that they are rubber. And that something that somebody somebody else’s emotions or feelings, or energy bounces off of them. I know my really good friend Dr. Jolene, Brighton, and I think I’ve mentioned this on the show before, she has her little jerris moment from the labyrinth where she imagines that that energy is leaving in a bubble.

So there’s lots of different ways that I do is oftentimes highly dependent on the energy and what I feel, and the person involved or persons involved. But I think for me as a, like I said, a highly visual person, imagining that energy actually being released back to that person is very, very powerful for me. So I don’t know, those are the five things that I do say no, a lot more have quiet time every day, use a meditation app or some other kind of guided meditation, be outside and visualize other people’s energy, leaving my body.

As I said, a practice not perfect ever. But these are just some of the strategies that I have used. So I hope that if you are empathic, or if you know an empath, that this has been helpful that you share it with other people who you know in your life are on the empathic scale quite highly. And maybe if you have strategies that are working really well for you, I would love to have you share those with me and of course you can get in touch on direct message on Instagram, or in the harder to kill Club Facebook group. So feel free to reach out there and let me know what do you

You use for dealing with your empathic ways and for finding more clarity and calmness and for not taking on too much energy from other people. Thanks so much for listening today to the show. Of course, we’d love to have you join that harder to kill club on Facebook. Just search the name and request to be added and say why you want to join. We always ask that question. All right, have a wonderful, wonderful weekend and be well and I’ll see you back on Tuesday for another episode of harder to kill radio

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