How to Stop Quitting the Gym
What do you do when you miss workouts and you want to quit or start all over again? I’m sharing a personal story from my early triathlon days that still shapes how I coaches lifters today. What started as a scary open-water swim became a powerful lesson about progress, patience, and why perfection is not required to move forward.
In this episode, you’ll reframe how you think about missed workouts, imperfect weeks, and all-or-nothing thinking in fitness. If you’ve ever felt like skipping one session meant you blew it, this episode offers a grounding reminder: that forward progress counts, even when it doesn’t look pretty.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode
- Why stopping completely doesn’t get you any closer to your goals – but imperfect effort does
- How all-or-nothing thinking quietly sabotages long-term strength training consistency
- What “just keep swimming” really looks like inside a lifting program
- Why flexibility is a skill – not a lack of discipline
- How minimum effective effort can keep momentum alive during hard seasons
- What strength training consistency actually looks like for women over 40
Enjoyed This Episode and Want More?
If this episode resonates and you’re ready to stop guessing in the gym, you can try a free 7 day sample of Strong with Steph, my progressive strength training program built specifically for women over 40 who want structure and flexibility.
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How to Stop Quitting the Gym – Episode Transcript
Stephanie Gaudreau (00:00.888)
Today I’m gonna tell you a little story and it’s all about why you need to channel your inner finding Nemo.
Stephanie Gaudreau (00:11.702)
Let’s go. When it comes to your lifting, one of the most important lessons you can implement is to channel your inner finding Nemo. I’m gonna tell you all about it on this episode of the podcast.
Stephanie Gaudreau (00:47.628)
What’s going on my friend? Welcome back to Fuel Your Strength. I’m so happy that you’re with me on this brand new episode and we’re gonna get into it today. I have a little story time for you. This episode will probably be a bit shorter than normal but I think this story really resonated when I shared it recently on social media so I wanted to pass it on to those of you who didn’t see it. Now of course before we get into that, if you would like some help with your strength training, you just need a plan. You want the freedom of walking in the gym and not having to worry about what to do. You’re just gonna open the app. and get to work, save that precious brain space for other things in life, know what to do, execute with confidence and see improvements, then check out a sample of Strong with Steph, StephGaudreau.com/workout. And I’ll send you seven days, you can try it and then go from there.
All right, so I wanna tell you this story about way back in my triathlon days. Many of you know, and I alluded to it on the previous episode of the podcast and I have talked about this as well in the past. of my transition between triathlon and endurance sports, like essentially ultra mountain biking into strength training. But I wanna talk about when I first picked up triathlon. So in 2008, 2009, I was super, super into endurance distance bike racing.
Past Triathlon Experience
So I’m talking 24 hours on a team, 12 hours solo. So I would go out and ride laps for 12 hours on the bike. Lots of really long events, like 50 mile races in that length. So tons of long hours spent on the bike. And then I decided it would be fun to try some triathlon. Now, I did know how to swim since childhood, but I hadn’t really swam in a long time. And running is something I had done a bunch as well. I did half marathon a couple of years prior, did a marathon in 2007 in Long Beach, California. So I had some running experience and I was running quite a bit at that point, but I decided, okay, let’s smush all of these together and get into triathlon. But I wanted to do an off-road triathlon because I was super comfortable mountain biking, right? That was my main thing. I rode bikes on the road quite a bit. So I would do road training.
Stephanie Gaudreau (03:15.852)
because I had to to get in more miles. But in terms of racing on the road, I was not comfortable. I had actually never done that. And to this day, I’ve never done a road race. But I knew that on trail, that would be my strongest discipline. So I decided to sign up for the YMCA in the town I used to live in. And I showed up to Master Swim early one morning and… it actually might not have been master swim yet. I think I just showed up to when the pool was open and it was very early.
I think it was 5 a.m. because I thought I haven’t swam in years, certainly not laps, you know, in people’s pools and in the ocean here and there, but more just playing around. So I hadn’t actually swam laps in a very long time. And that, my friends, was a very humbling experience because it was not pretty. I was like… super inefficient at swimming. But nevertheless, decided to sign up and go to master swim classes and slowly was improving my skills.
Also continuing to of course ride mountain bikes and do some trail running, which I was decent, decent at, but not super, super fast. The thing when you do exterra, which is off-road triathlon is you don’t swim in a pool. You swim in the open water, whether that’s a river, a lake, a pond, I don’t know, some open natural body of water or something out other than a pool, the ocean. And I joined the local triathlon club so I could start going with people who had experience. especially when it was open water swimming time.
Struggles with Swimming
Because again, playing around in the ocean, you know, a few feet from the shore is quite different from putting on a wetsuit, which I had never swam in a wetsuit. I had only sort of worn one for boogie boarding and things like that. But swimming in a wetsuit is very different. And I really was worried about open water swimming because I was not a strong swimmer.
Stephanie Gaudreau (05:33.336)
I was a decent swimmer, but not somebody who would be really competitive in that first leg of the triathlon. And if you’re not familiar in a triathlon, you always swim first. So I decided to join the triathlon club. I knew they would be going out and doing open water swims. And that here in San Diego, the tri club would go to the one that I belong to would go to a place called Glorietta Bay and the visibility there was terrible.
You you’re wearing goggles and your swim cap and your wetsuit, your swimming wetsuit, but they would have coaches. who would go alongside on paddleboards, right, for safety and to just kind of give coaching and things like that. We’d swim to the buoy and come back to shore. And then sometimes people would go again to get their distance in. And the first time I showed up to Gloria De Be to do this open water swim, I was absolutely terrified.
In the pictures, I have pictures of me standing on the shore at Glorietta Bay probably later on when I got more comfortable. smiling and happy and we would do transitions there too. So we would practice getting out of the water, taking your wetsuit off, putting your bike stuff on, hopping on the bike because transitioning in a triathlon can save you a lot of time if you do it well and consequently also cost you a lot of time if you don’t do it well.
But transitioning in itself takes practice. So we would sometimes do that transition practice as well. but I have this picture of me like smiling and looking super confident. But the first time I showed up there, I was absolutely shitting myself because it’s open water, the visibility isn’t good. I’m thinking there’s actually marine life in this water. We do get sharks in San Diego and I don’t think they really hang out in the bay all that much because they get much better feeding where all the seals are and stuff in the open part of the ocean. But it was scary, it was so, so scary.
And again, I was still not very good at swimming at this point. So we get out for this swim and I didn’t get very far. And I just was absolutely freaking out, number one, because it’s hard to breathe in a wetsuit, especially a wetsuit that’s really tight. So I was finding it really hard to breathe. I couldn’t really see, it was very disorienting. And I just stopped.
Stephanie Gaudreau (07:52.45)
What to Do When You Want to Quit
just stopped in the water and was treading water. And the coach came up beside me and we started to have a conversation. And I’ll never forget this advice because I still think it’s so relevant. And I say this to my lifters all of the time, of course, in a different context. But the coach looked at me and looks down at me from the paddleboard and is looking at me in the water feeling frustrated and. not breathing very well and just feeling defeated. And the coach says something like, why did you stop?
And I said something like, I’m just, can’t do this. I wanna go back. And they looked at me and said something to the effect of, if you stop, you’re not getting any closer to shore. But if you do something to move, and you keep swimming forward, you are making forward progress, you will get there sooner. Probably said more eloquently than that, but in my mind, I just remember it as just keep swimming, which is of course a quote from Finding Nemo, very, very famous.
But the rationale is this, if I were to just stop and hang out in the water, I am not getting any closer to my goal. I’m not getting any closer to finishing. And there are things that I can do to continue to actually have forward movement. So the coach said, you can dog paddle, you can backstroke on your back. It doesn’t have to be the freestyle overhand swimming that is like quote unquote, the right way that you see most people swimming in triathlon.
So I really took that to heart. And I definitely used that strategy for All of the triathlons that I did, swimming was my absolute weakest leg. I was quite typically one of the last people out of the water, but there were many times where I would feel tired, I would get out of breath, and instead of just sitting stationary in the water, I did what I could to keep moving forward. And I think it’s such a simple lesson, but it is one that is so…
Why Do I Keep Quitting Exercise?
Stephanie Gaudreau (10:13.61)
undervalued, especially in fitness. Because in fitness, we think, okay, I have to be perfect. I have to get every single workout done. If I miss a day, I have to start all over. And you know where this stuff comes from, right? It comes from this idea that we can never miss a day. We’ve somehow fucked something up if we skipped a workout. This idea that we have to be perfect. It’s very all or nothing, very binary, very black and white. And you see that echoed and amplified out in the world, like never miss a Monday, like all these things.
And that’s sure, like if that works for you, that’s great. But there’s a lot of people for whom that strategy just does not work and it backfires quite a bit, especially people that are really working on developing their sense of flexible thinking around behavior change with nutrition, with fitness, whatever it happens to be. And for some people, that is enough for them to wanna walk away entirely. It’s this idea that I missed a day or I can’t do it perfectly as written and so I just will skip it.
And I wanna be clear here, don’t hear what I’m not saying to quote Chase. Don’t hear what I’m not saying. I’m not saying that you don’t have the autonomy to decide that you wanna skip a workout or that it’s appropriate for you to skip a workout on a particular day. It might be. Recently had a client. that messaged me in the morning, was supposed to start a new lifting program and she said, I got the flu and I’m like, great.
Well, I’m so sorry to hear that, but here’s what we’re gonna do. You can start next week. You know, it’s totally fine. I want you to recover. That’s the most important priority. So sometimes skipping the workout is the thing to do. But for a lot of people, learning to lean into the flexibility of it all is their greatest area of potential growth and improvement. Because fitness is not just built in one day and it’s not all lost in one day either.
And so the more we can keep inching forward, we can just keep swimming a little, even if it’s not the exact overhand, perfect looking freestyle strokes that the leaders of the pack are doing. Any forward movement that we have is getting still moving us toward our goal. We’re getting there faster than if we stood still. We are meeting our lifting goals faster or more efficiently than if we completely stopped.
How Do I Stop Being a Perfectionist?
Stephanie Gaudreau (12:38.272)
And so I’ll see this a lot, especially around this time of year. So this is coming out in the first couple months of 2026. And it’s not uncommon that people got started with something in January and then they lost momentum for some reason. Oftentimes it’s because we’re also working on the skills of behavior change at the same time.
We think, okay, I’m just gonna say I’m gonna go to the gym six days a week and that’s my goal. it might be too far from where we currently are at and we don’t have the systems and structures in place. So it’s common in those cases that some people will think, you know what, I’m just gonna quit. I’m just like, I failed at this, I suck, I’m a failure, I’m gonna quit and like someday down the road, I’ll try to pick up with it again. Instead, we can think how do we break that goal up into more manageable chunks?
So for some people, it’s starting with one day a week or two days a week. and slowly building up over there as you learn the skills, as you put into place the systems and routines that you need to become more consistent. But even in that consistency has to come flexibility. And so that’s that idea that we don’t have to throw the entire thing out the window.
There will likely be times where you miss some workouts or you are ill or you have something happen in the family and you need to take a little bit of time off. Can we do something that’s more along the lines of a minimum to stay engaged? Maybe, and that would be super helpful in continuing us to move forward. Maybe we can’t, and we have to respect that that happens, but we haven’t fucked it all up. And it’s really important that we get back to it when we can, even if it’s in an imperfect way or it’s in a modified way.
How to Stop Overthinking the Gym
It’s exploring that middle ground. I did do an episode last year about different ways you can modify a workout. to still get something done because for some people it’s easy to go, yeah, I could just do something instead of nothing. But for other people, they really need some clear ideas and suggestions about how to approach that. And there are multiple ways that you can approach it. And I will include a link to that episode here. So you can, if you wanna go down that rabbit hole, you can. But ultimately I wanna leave you with this idea that…
Stephanie Gaudreau (14:53.614)
stopping permanently, especially if you miss a day or you miss a couple of weeks, just throwing it all out the window, throwing it all away, is not going to make re-entry any easier, and it’s also not something that is moving you forward. How can you continue to move forward, even if it’s in an imperfect way? I’m out there doggie paddling at the end of the pack, but you know what? I’m still getting to T1, that’s transition zone one.
I was still getting to T1 faster than if I completely stood still here for a long time in the water. And I was just doggy, or I was just trying water. So I doggy paddled. In Lake Tahoe, I doggy paddled at the end of the pack because the water was fucking freezing and it was just, it was rough. It was super cold. Couldn’t feel any of my limbs. It was not a good time.
And that was really hard to swim through. But I remember just doggy paddling and just seeing the pack. get further and further away, but I just kept thinking I am getting there faster than if I just stopped. So that’s my story on just keep swimming, just keep moving, just keep doing what you’re doing in the gym, even if it’s modified. It is, it all does add up. It all counts.
In Strong with Steph, I recommend my lifters shoot for 70 to 80 % of their workouts. So right off the top, we’re saying, hey, If you can’t get 20, 30 % of the workouts, it’s okay. You’re still gonna make amazing progress if you give it a great effort when you’re there. But we have to relieve ourselves of that desire, that belief that we have to do it all perfectly or it’s not worth doing at all. Okay? And that is the challenge. That is the practice of flexible thinking. That is the practice of reframing. That is the value in having a coach or a supportive friend who can help you to say, you know what, you’re right.
I’m gonna get in there and do part of a workout or I’m gonna get in there and do the next workout even though I couldn’t get today done. It’s still gonna benefit me to get back in the gym as soon as I can. I hope this has been helpful for you. Let me know if you needed to hear it. I would love to know if it resonated and send it on to somebody who you think might need it or save it for later if you have one of those days. I would also love to
Stephanie Gaudreau (17:17.962)
share with you a free sample of Strong with Steph. So if you’re like, yes, I just want the peace of mind that I can open the app and somebody has thought through the training for me, but it’s still flexible for when I need it. That somebody has taken my challenges in midlife into mind with creating this type of a workout, this type of a program. It’s progressive. It’s going to take me the distance. It’s not just a four week, do it. And then what’s next?
No, we’ve got you covered. So if you want that peace of mind, you wanna try a sample of my progressive strength training program that is purposely made for women over 40, because I get what you’re going through and your life challenges, then do that at stefgadro.com slash workout. I’d love to send it to you. All right, I’ll talk to you next time. I’m excited to bring you more content this year about not only technical pieces of lifting, but some of the other stuff that I’m talking with my lifters with all the time.
These are the things around the coaching, the messiness of being a real human, trying to get into the gym and lift in this phase of life that I think is really supportive. It’s the conversations I’m having all the time with my lifters. So I’m bringing you some of these topics because I hope it will really be a value. All right, until next time, stay strong.