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3 Pillars of Self-Trust w/ Shohreh Davoodi

Listening to your body doesn’t happen through a magic pill or a one-size-fits-all answer. It is about leaning into your self-trust and learning to embrace what makes you uniquely you. But how do we actually do that in a practical, hands-on way? The concept of self-trust is an all-encompassing one that considers a lot of different parts about who you are as a person, which is why it is essential to have the proper framework when diving into these topics.

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Key Takeaways

If You Are Looking To Build Self-Trust:

  1. Work on building up your consciousness, care, and compassion habits
  2. Acknowledge your privileges and how you can use them to help others in your community
  3. Lean into courage by questioning the things in your life that you may do out of habit

Learn How To Build Self-Trust with Shohreh Davoodi

Shohreh Davoodi is a self-trust coach who created her Three Pillars of Self-Trust Framework to help women overcome fear and self-doubt and become brave by conjuring up the courage inside of them. Her framework combines the three main pillars of self-trust, consciousness practices, care practices, and courage practices so that you can figure out who you are and what you value.

The Three Pillars of Self-Trust

The first step of self-trust is consciousness. This means having the awareness of the things in your life that you want to change, what is working for you in your life and what isn’t, and why. This usually deals with the systems in place in our society that is causing self-doubt, that really has nothing to do with you as an individual.

Next comes care practices. While we all know the importance of self-care, Shohreh takes it a step further and includes principles such as intuitive eating, intentional movement, sleep, and organization all as ways that you can care for yourself and let your body know that it can trust you to listen and take care of it.

The final piece of the puzzle is courage. Engaging with issues such as activism, setting boundaries, and having a more value-driven life are all ways that you can reconnect with your head, heart, and body, to do the things that make you feel good.

It Takes a Village That Stands Together To See Real Change

In order to engage more authentically with your own self-trust, you need to dive deep and look some scary stuff in the eye. We cannot self-trust our way into community liberation. It takes better community care and systemic changes so that everybody can have self-trust and a better relationship to food and their bodies.

There is no one right way to engage with these practices. By being more understanding and compassionate to the people around you, being in a community that lets you know that you are not alone, and dropping into your body in a time-sensitive way that feels good for you are the best ways to take steps to move closer to deeper self-trust.

What is one way that you are going to lean into your courage and let your body know that it can trust you? Share which of Shohreh’s tips you’re going to integrate into your routine with me in the comments below. 

In This Episode

  • How the mentality of siloing everything you do is getting in the way of your ability to access body trust (9:12)
  • Explore the three pillars of self-trust and the different parts of who you are that you need to consider (13:43)
  • The role of marginalization and consciousness that play into the wellness space (19:32)
  • Recommendations for advocating for the internal and external need for change on a systemic level (24:42)
  • How to establish trust within your body through interoceptive awareness (27:55)

Quotes

“My niche is self-trust, but self-trust really encompasses so many different topics and ideas and ways of being in the world. So I can’t just talk about self-trust, in talking about self-trust I have to talk about so many other things.” (11:10)

“Each of these pillars are important and can stand on their own, but they are most powerful when they bridge together. And that is the foundation of self-trust for an individual.” (15:01)

“Almost all of us have privileges in some places, even marginalized folks have privileges in some areas. So we can’t look at the marginalization without also looking at the privilege and how we contribute, knowingly or unknowingly, to the advancement of these systems.” (21:03)

“So often when someone is struggling to trust their own body, it is actually because they have gotten messages about bodies like theirs, and what a body like theirs should be or should look like or should feel like.” (32:06)

“For everyone who is interested in building more self-trust, the key to doing that is that you have to get to know you and what you want and what you value.” (35:08)

Featured on the Show

Food Freedom Mini-Course

Strength Workout Mini-Course

Follow Your Arrow Membership Program

Shohreh Davoodi Website

One-On-One Coaching with Shohreh

Conjuring Up Courage Podcast

Follow Shohreh on Instagram | Facebook | TikTok

Follow Steph on Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | YouTube | Pinterest

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Related Episodes

LTYB 305: Using Body Language To Understand Yourself and Others Better with Tiff Lee

LTYB 262: How To See Value Outside Your Body & Overcome Self-Doubt with Summer Innanen

 

3 Pillars of Self-Trust w/ Shohreh Davoodi FULL TRANSCRIPT

Steph Gaudreau

With a podcast name, like Listen To Your Body, we spend a lot of time digging into topics, like trusting your body, listening to your body, and tuning in. And if you’ve heard this show before, you know that there are no simple answers to any of this, or that even the answers that seem simple may not be easy. And we honor that context and that uniqueness and every single person who is walking this journey in the world of intuitive eating and body image. Quite often, the concept of self-trust comes up over and over again as something to lean into to learn more about and to embrace. But how do we actually do it? My guest today is self-trust Coach Shohreh Davoodi, she’s talking about the three pillars of self-trust that you can use to overcome fear, self-doubt, be brave, and conjure up your courage.

Steph Gaudreau
The Listen To Your Body podcast has one bold mission, to help change-making women like you give themselves radical permission to listen to their bodies get free with food and fitness, and channel their energy, and be a force for good in the world. I’m a certified intuitive eating counselor, nutritional therapy practitioner, and strength coach Steph Gaudreau. This weekly show brings you discussions around dropping diet and exercise extremes, letting your inner wisdom lead and taking up space from inclusive body neutrality, health at every size, nondiet nutrition perspective, we’ll examine how diet culture and the patriarchy keep women busy and distracted by the quest for body perfection, and how we can break free to live life on our own terms. It’s bound to be fiery, and ultimately, to make you think hit subscribe on your favorite podcast app. And let’s dive in.

Steph Gaudreau
Hello, my friends. Welcome back to the podcast. Thank you so much for hanging out with me this week. I super appreciate it. On this week’s episode. I’m welcoming another guest to the show. Now if you’ve been listening, well, if you’ve been listening to the show long term, you know, we’ve gone back and forth between solo episodes and guests and mixed it up throughout the years. And even though the beginning of 2021 with some solo shows, I am also going to be bringing back some guests. And today’s guest is a wonderful, wonderful human and a brilliant coach and person who is sharing her knowledge online. And her name is Shohreh Davoodi.

Steph Gaudreau
Shohreh is a self-trust coach and she works in lots of different areas. As you’ll hear on the show today, it’s really hard to kind of narrow ourselves down and put ourselves in a box. But Shohreh does a lot of work with intuitive eating and body image as part of her self-trust framework. And she is going to be sharing with you today on the show the three pillars of that self-trust framework. So if you’re somebody who feels like you know what, yeah, everybody talks about trusting yourself. But I don’t even know what that means. How am I supposed to do it? It sounds good in theory, but how do you actually take the steps to move closer to deeper self-trust? Shohreh is going to be explaining that on the podcast today. I can’t wait for you to listen to this show. So we’re going to go ahead and jump in right now with Shohreh Davoodi.

Steph Gaudreau
Hi, Shohreh, welcome to the show.

Shohreh Davoodi
Hello, thank you for having me.

Steph Gaudreau
I’m so excited that you’re here. You are somebody that I look to, in as appear in the intuitive eating space to health at every size, space, somebody who’s doing some amazing work in the realm of self-trust, body image, and things like that. And I promise you every time I read what you write on your Instagram, especially I always learn something, I always learn how to see something from a different perspective, or just a broader perspective than I had previously looked at something from so I really appreciate the work that you’re doing in the world and just really glad to have you here on the show today.

Shohreh Davoodi
Oh, that means so much to me to hear you say that. I love my Instagram space for as terrible as Instagram is becoming as an app and their refusal to keep the app the way that I would like it to be, I do love the platform for being able to share information and meet people and right. It’s like, I am a writer at heart. And I love being able to share all different parts of me and my work on that platform and get to see who it reaches.

Steph Gaudreau
Yeah, absolutely. What are some of your biggest pet peeves with Instagram?

Shohreh Davoodi
Instagram?

Steph Gaudreau
Yeah, it has that, right. Like social media has that…We talk about it all the time on this show, but it is simultaneously amazing and horrible. Like, what are some of the biggest things that you’re seeing? Or that you’ve experienced that just make you?

Shohreh Davoodi
Yeah, so I think that I’ll start with the actual consumer side of it, like the people who are using the abs, the thing that has been driving me bonkers lately, as I’ve noticed this pattern, where whenever I talk about something that’s like pretty personal on my page, so maybe like my divorce or queerness, like people leave in droves, and I want to be clear that people can follow whoever they want. And there’s all kinds of reasons to unfollow or follow somebody. But I do notice this is a pattern. And I feel like for those of us who are creators, it just kind of takes away from our humanity a little bit where it’s like if people feel like they can’t immediately learn or like glean something that they can share from a post that they’re like, Ah, well, I don’t want to hear this about this person. Like, it just makes me feel sometimes like a product. And like, if I can’t be consumed by somebody, then it’s like, what’s the point? Why am I here? And of course, for like, every one of those followers, there’s like, 100, magnificent, wonderful people who are affirming. But I’ve just someone who’s noticed that recently, and I think with the app itself, you know, I don’t blame Instagram for the fact that like, they keep seeing what other apps are doing. And they’re like, Great, let’s pull it into our app, you know, it’s a smart business move.

Shohreh Davoodi
They were very successful with it, for instance, when they basically ripped off Snapchat to create Instagram stories. And now we’re seeing that with the reels and Tik Tok, so it’s their way of keeping everyone in their app. But from a content creator perspective, it can be so frustrating to be like, okay, now I have to learn how to do this new thing, as engagement has completely fallen off, except for reals, because they’re pushing those really hard. And I have been so busy, I haven’t had time to make video content, because that just takes a lot longer than making written content. As you know, I know, you make Reels like it takes a long time to film that stuff. And it’s just like, I’m like, I get it. I know, this is here. But I hate it. Because it just is so much effort for me on my end, also at the shopping thing right now. Or they’re like, we are now a shopping app. And like that became like a button, you can click that they’re really pushing like, I’m like, it’s great, I guess if you’re you’re selling things, but I don’t know, it’s just the app changing all the time. This is just me being crotchety.

Steph Gaudreau
Well, it’s something important to know. And I really just appreciate what you said there about, you know, things take a lot longer than they appear. They may be 15 seconds long but whenever you’re you’re trying to cut things down, right, it takes a lot more planning and creativity and things like that. And, you know, creators get tired too, or creators don’t have the spark, you know, sometimes you’re like, life is just life, and you’re like, I’m just hanging on doing my thing. And then I got to go out of my way to be extra creative or extra funny or extra entertaining. And it can be tough. And I remember when you posted on your Instagram about that, that concept of like, we’re allowed to behold people. And how I noticed that too, obviously, in different ways. But how do you think that phenomenon of right, like, as a creator, or as a, as a coach, like we are, you know, we’re kind of known for doing one thing, or if you listen to, you know, standard business advice, it’s like, you know, you got to narrow down you got to talk about one thing you got to always be, you know, always be focusing on that, in the realm of what you do with things like body trust, how do you find that that mentality of like, you know, siloing, everything that we do gets in the way of people even being able to access body trust for themselves? In other words, are we boiling things down too much? And seeing ourselves as super one-dimensional, when in fact, it’s the opposite?

Shohreh Davoodi
Yeah, I think it’s so hard when we have apps or other things outside of ourselves that are kind of pushing that narrative because absolutely, from the content creator perspective, that’s the message that we get is that you know, you need to niche down. It’s also the message that we get from apps like Instagram that are like you will get more engagement. If Your account is about one very clear thing. If it’s like, this is the thing you do, then more people will see it, you’ll bring in a bigger audience, blah, blah, blah. And that works really well, for some people, if like, there’s just one thing that you want to put out there on the app, it doesn’t work. So well, for those of us who are solo entrepreneurs were like, We are our brands like we’re people. It’s not a company, we don’t have to necessarily have a one company message. Like, we’re humans, and people are hiring us because of the humans that we are because they’re going to be working with us directly or working with something that we’ve created. So there’s much more of a personal touch for us. And so I think it does hurt us when there’s this expectation of like, we need you to be one dimensional. And then if you go beyond that, to just like humans, being humans, like we are all complex people, we’re multidimensional, we have layers to us, especially if something like my niche is self-trust. But self-trust really encompasses so many different topics and ideas and ways of being in the world. And so like, I can’t just talk about self-trust, like in talking about self-trust, I have to talk about so many other things. And so I guess that makes my account more scattered or something by Instagram standards. But it also makes perfect sense for what I do in the world. So it’s frustrating to get penalized for that in some ways, but I am all about breaking out of boxes. And so if I made my account, just one thing, that would not be representative of this thing that I value so much where I want people to be able to show up authentically, APA be damned.

Steph Gaudreau
Yeah, absolutely. Do you think that the can on the consumer side, the reader side, whatever you have everyone identify that the community side of things? Do you think that that concept of you know somebody is known for one thing makes it more challenging for people to see their own multitude in terms of self-trust? In other words, you know, it’s just to go to this person for this or this person for that? Do you think that that’s a help or a hindrance?

Shohreh Davoodi
Well, I think on the consumer side, right, like, it does make sense to hire or go-to people for their specific areas of expertise. And some people have very niche areas of expertise, where it’s like, this is the thing that I work on. And I’m really good at it. And I’m going to help you with this. And so I think if you’re a consumer, you are going to want to hire someone who is an expert in certain areas. And that can be a really good thing. But I think it just depends on what the area is and what you’re looking for. And if you can’t see past that, to see that there is a person behind there, because for me, you know, in the work that I do with self-trust, coaching, I think that everything I’ve been through in life informs the work that I do. Like when I say that I have the expertise, I don’t just mean that I got this certification, or I have this degree, I also mean, I have lived these certain experiences, I have these marginalized identities, and all of those things inform the work that I’m doing. And so I think from consumers and community people, you know, we keep coming back to this idea but just remembering that like, there is more to people than what you see on an Instagram post more to what you see in somebody’s feed. Even someone like me, where I’m posting a lot of different things about my life, and I’m very transparent, like, you’re only getting what I’m showing you and what I’m choosing to show you at that moment. And like there’s a lot more to me as a person. And there’s a lot more to what I’m bringing to my work.

Steph Gaudreau
With that. Let’s, let’s talk a little bit, you know, we’ve mentioned a couple of times to like your self-trust Coach, I know you have some pillars of self-trust that you are sort of part of your framework and how you work with people because as you mentioned earlier, this concept of self-trust is so it’s so all-encompassing, right? It’s very diverse, it takes into consideration a lot of different parts of who somebody is. So when you’re working with somebody on self-trust, what are the different parts, the different pillars of your self-trust framework that you think are the most important in helping someone come back to that self-trust for themselves?

Shohreh Davoodi
Yeah, so when I was coming up with this idea of self-trust, and wanting this to be the focus of my business, as it has evolved over time, I really wanted to break that down in a way that was more accessible to people because you hear the word self-trust, and you’re kind of like, I kind of know what that is. Maybe I don’t like what is this person coaching. And I also wanted a framework that I could walk people through in terms of my one on one coaching or my membership program. So I came up with these three pillars of self-trust, and the pillars are pillar one consciousness practices, pillar two care practices, and pillar three courage practices. And what I always say is that each of these pillars is important and can stand on its own, but they are most powerful when they bridge together. And that’s the foundation of self-trust for me. Individual. So just to tell you a little bit about each of them, the pillar one consciousness practices is the awareness piece. So you cannot make a change in your life until you know that there are things that you want to change until you know that there is something that isn’t working for you. And people often find that they’re like, I feel like crappy or something’s not working for me, or I’m unhappy, but they can’t pinpoint what it is.

Shohreh Davoodi
So we have to start with the awareness of what isn’t working for you and why, and especially looking at the systems that are causing problems there. Because so often, it’s not that there’s an issue with you, it’s almost never that there’s an issue with you. It’s usually that there are external forces that have caused you to believe certain things about yourself that aren’t true. So I always look at systems of oppression in this. And I also look at something that I call the ghosts of self-doubt. So these are the voices in your head that aren’t actually yours, even though you might think they are that have come from other people. So you know, if your mom when you were growing up, the true story always said to you, like you’re not graceful, you’re you know, you’re really clumsy, you’re not a graceful person, you may have internalized that. And now the voice in your head is your own right like so I might hear Oh, sure. You’re just you’re not very graceful. You’re such a clumsy person. But maybe I’ve never interrogated to be like, is that true about me overall, is this actually how I feel about myself now in adulthood compared to as a kid. So there’s a lot of unpacking of these messages and being like, what of these things is true for me, and do I actually value these messages and beliefs that I’ve been holding all this time. So we have to start there with the consciousness, and then moving into the pillar to care practices. This is where things like intuitive eating intentional movement, sleep organization, like anything that you can think of that has to do with care and caring for yourself are going to fit into this category. And these things are so important because in order to have our bodies like learn to trust us, in order to establish that self-trust, they have to know that we’re going to listen to them and care for them, we have to increase our interoceptive awareness and teach our bodies that, hey, I have your back. And when you need something, I’m going to listen and I’m going to do my best to respond and give you the thing that you need.

Shohreh Davoodi
And so we really have to reconnect with our bodies in the care practices part, and figure out what it is that we need and what makes us feel good and what we want in terms of care. And when we do that, that gives us the energy and the nourishment that we need to move to pillar three courage practices, which are some of the really hard and intense things. So I consider activism, a courage practice, I consider setting boundaries to be a courage practice, I consider really figuring out what direction you want your life to go in and how to live a more values-driven life to be encouraged practices. And those things aren’t easy. But if you’ve done the work in consciousness and in care, that really gives you a lot more tools to be able to tackle that stuff head-on. So you can see how all these things really come together. And there is overlap between these pillars for my own ease. I’ve put things into the different pillars, but a lot of them could be in two or even three of the pillars.

Steph Gaudreau
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Steph Gaudreau
I think it’s incredibly powerful the way you’ve laid it out and how they all come together like you said sort of synergistically. When you’re thinking about I know you mentioned really quickly that in the consciousness pillar, you do talk about things like oppression and marginalized identities. And I think some people are especially in this listenership Are you have become more aware of things like this. And I think we’re also seeing in the wellness space. A lot of well-deserved, I guess, criticism, if you will, for people who are like, well, let’s just you know, everybody should just eat healthy, you know? Or what’s wrong with you, you can’t eat like that? Like, why aren’t you eating, you know, a specific way? And it comes across as really judgmental. It comes across as really elitist. And so when you’re thinking about, or you’re working with people on this aspect, and you’re working on consciousness, like, what are some of those things that you might be either asking them or helping them to uncover, that go into that awareness, so that it’s not coming from, like a bypass place?

Shohreh Davoodi
Mm-hmm. Yeah. So in the consciousness area, I’m looking at privilege and power primarily. So it’s not only Hey, let’s look at the systems of oppression from a marginalized identities perspective, even though I do work with a lot of clients who have marginalized identities. But also, almost all of us have privileges in some places, even marginalized folks have privileges in some areas. And so we can’t look at the marginalization without also looking at the privilege and how we contribute knowingly or unknowingly, to the advancement of these systems of oppression. And the consciousness practices work. Let me tell you, I’m going, I have a membership program called Follow Your Arrow, which is a year-long membership program, and we just wrapped up our first three months, and the first three months are on consciousness practices. And a constant refrain from people was, Wow, this is so much harder than I thought it was going to be. But I’m so glad that I’m doing this work. Because you really have to go deep and look, some scary stuff in the eye that maybe, especially if you’re not super familiar with anti-oppression work, might be a little bit scary to you, or might be uncomfortable. And so there is this discomfort with consciousness, right? There’s a reason we kind of like sweep this stuff under the rug, and we don’t have consciousness around it. So when we bring it into the light, it’s scary. But by bringing it into the light, we can make more informed choices about well, what do I want to do with this information?

Shohreh Davoodi
Now that I know I have these privileges? How can I act an allyship and accomplish and be an accomplice to these marginalized communities or, for a lot of my marginalized clients? It’s this realization of like, Oh, shit, I always thought this was something wrong with me. Or that this is just some barrier I needed to, you know, have the personal responsibility to overcome. But then when they see how the systems are laid out, they’re like, oh, there’s like all these actors who have been giving me these messages and who have been pushing against me my whole life. And that can explain so much of the things that I’ve struggled with. So we really want to tease out, you know, again, what is you or what is within your ability to actually change? And what is it because we cannot self trust our way to community liberation? Unfortunately, anything we can do personally doesn’t provide community liberation. This includes intuitive eating, like, yes, you can improve your own relationship with food in your body. And that’s powerful. And we have to take the next step of Okay, well, how can we get better community care and structural care, so that everybody can have self-trust so that everybody can have a better relationship with food in your body. So we’re really just digging in deep and looking at all the different things that affect it. So we’re usually talking about racism, patriarchy, purity culture is a big thing that comes up a lot. We’re talking about ageism, and homophobia, like any of those systems, that are designed to hurt marginalized people and keep them from being seen as equal citizens. We’re talking about.

Steph Gaudreau
That’s so powerful. And I really appreciate you just to kind of amplify what you said, talking about the both and of the situation, in terms of, you know, recognizing where bringing those practices in for yourself can be really healing or really affirming. And also saying, like, the systems and the community care, like, those things aren’t going to improve unless we also do that work on the outside, right. So like, it’s an internal thing, but it’s also like, what’s beyond us? And I think that that’s still missing from a lot of the conversations and the dialogues. In the wellness industry, in general, it’s all about like, yes, like feeling better in your body, or, like you said, a better relationship with food, but it’s like, how, what do we do once? Once that stuff is, you know, we’re feeling better in those ways are like, how can we see the opportunities that there are for helping to improve things for other people in the same, you know, in the same token,

Shohreh Davoodi
Right, health and wellness is an area definitely struggles with us. And I think even a lot of the folks who have moved in the more inclusive direction of intuitive eating of Health at Every Size, sometimes miss this, and, again, that’s to be expected because a lot of us have privilege. identities and they shield us from having to think about these things or having to worry about these things. And we have to be really careful as coaches because if you aren’t aware of this stuff, and you aren’t doing your own work, it’s really easy to cause further harm to your clients who do experience marginalization. And in general, I just recommend to everybody, like never others of the line, oh, well, I did this thing, it will work for you, especially if you’re a coach. And I sadly still see a lot of this in the online space of like, this is the thing you should do. This is the right course of action, like bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, and not thinking about all these other potential circumstances, or other things that are going on in client’s lives, like, I see a lot of like coaches centered work instead of client-centered work. And I think the industry is going to just continue to perpetuate harm until we shift and we really put our clients in the spotlight and we say, what does my client need? What are they going through? What experiences have they maybe had, that I’ve never had? And I don’t even know what they’re like? And how might those be informing you know, their work with me and really trying to be more understanding and more compassionate instead of being like, Oh, this client’s just a bad client because they’re not doing what I tell them to?

Steph Gaudreau
Absolutely, I appreciate you sharing that. Yeah, in the coaching space in general, right, there’s this like, interesting dynamic of, you know, I’m going to tell you what to do and you should just do it, you know, rather than kind of that either like a co-creation or an exploration, and helping really draw it out of the client. And helping them be more aware of that stuff. Because at the end of the day, as you said, there are so many experiences that as a coach, like I might not have, and, yeah, it’s a lot of learning, it’s a lot of thinking, it’s a lot of like, uncovering biases and things like that. And it’s tricky.

Shohreh Davoodi
I’ll also say that I find coaching to be so much more fun and creative when I am exploring and co-creating with my clients, like, I want them to succeed. And so of course, I want to hear their thoughts and opinions, and I want them to tell me, Oh, hey, this isn’t working for me. So we can unpack that. And we can figure it out together. Like that’s the fun part of being a coach. So there’s this part of me that’s like, why are you a coach if you don’t want to do that. And if you don’t enjoy that stuff, I mean, even in my membership program, which has a set curriculum, I really try hard to give people multiple options for each deeper dive assignment that we do. Because I know that not one thing is going to work for everybody. And I reiterate that constantly in the group where I’m like, you can skip this, if it doesn’t work for you, you don’t have to do every single thing. If what I’ve given you isn’t working, please reach out, I’m happy to like create something else for you. Like, I’m all about collaboration.

Steph Gaudreau
I love that. I’d like to circle back around to something you mentioned with regard to the care pillar of your framework. And you kind of mentioned this concept of interoceptive awareness, and like this idea of being able to trust, you know, establish trust with your body. And I think that that is commonly something in the intuitive eating space that we’re constantly talking about, obviously, the title of the show is Listen To Your Body. So you know where I’m coming from on that. But like that, like that idea of even you know, when you exist in a world where it’s not safe to be in your body, or your body is marginalized, or you just feel like, you know, I’ve been told my whole life that I need to listen to the external rules, and like, you know, the nutrition and this and that, and like, I can’t trust myself for a variety of reasons, perhaps, you know, how do like what would be some of the things that you would say to somebody who is like, maybe has that? It’s kind of in that that emotional space, that mind space, that heart space of like, I know, it sounds good for you. But what about me, you know, how am I going to even start to take those steps forward with my body and establishing that open line, so that I can begin to trust myself more?

Shohreh Davoodi
Hmm, that’s a great question. And I think the first thing I would want to do with someone bringing that to me would be to validate their experience and to tell them that yes, this is a very common experience that people have, especially folks in marginalized bodies, especially women because we live in a world that teaches women that our body is our worth and our currency in this world. And so I want to normalize for people that most people have terrible trust and relationship with their body, like listen to your body, as you know, is unhelpful without further context, which is the reason this podcast exists. you’re providing that context. And I think that you know, it’s really important to not dismiss people when they bring That to you because again, their experiences are different. So that’s the first step. And then I think the second step is saying, alright, well, how can we find a way to bring you into your body that feels safe or safer, that can get you started on this process because with all things, we’re not going to go from zero to 100, right? Someone who really struggles to be in their body isn’t going to just be like, well, now I’m doing a daily 30 minutes of meditation and like being in my body, like, that’s gonna feel terrible for them.

Shohreh Davoodi
So one of the concepts I talked about is like dropping into your body in a time-sensitive way. So can we find practices that you can do for a very limited amount of time. So someone does want to do something like meditation, maybe it’s we do 30 seconds of meditation to start, and we see how that feels. Or if it’s a movement practice, you know, maybe we do a very limited movement practice, we start with just five minutes of stretching or moving your body, and we see how that feels. And really taking away these ideas of like, it has to be a certain amount of time, or it has to be done a certain way for it to, quote-unquote, count, like, count for what, but you hear that all the time. And so really thinking about, like, what can we do for you individually in your life to start to do some of these care practices. And again, there’s no one right way. So for some people, food might feel like a really scary entry point to that. So maybe you look at a different care practice that feels better. Or maybe this is a person who could really benefit from having, some creative practices in their life, and like making time for creative projects. So they just have some time to let their brain decompress and see what that feels like in the body of there’s so many different options here. And then from the community perspective, for a client like this, I really want to find ways that they can be in community with other people with similar experiences to them. Because so often, when someone is struggling to trust their own body, it’s actually because they’ve gotten messages about bodies like theirs, and what a body like theirs should be or should look like or should feel like.

Shohreh Davoodi
And so if they can be in community with other people, and hear their stories and hear Oh, I’m not alone in this like that is so powerful. So if this is a queer person, I want to check with them and say, do you have a queer community? Do you follow other queer people online? Who is talking about this stuff? You know, do you have queer books and media that you have access to? So you can see these stories because a lot of times people don’t. And being able to see yourself in somebody else, or in some media is extremely powerful and affirming for folks. And that’s often a missing piece where they’re like, oh, I live in this area. And I just don’t have that kind of community here. Or we’re in a pandemic. So I haven’t been able to go out and get these kinds of experiences with people in the real world. And so figuring out how can we actually get you those in some way that feels good. And this is also why I run a group program, and I think group programs are so important is because so often, the power isn’t in me teaching something, it’s in the hearing from each other, like, Oh, my God, I’m not alone, because that helps dissipate shame.

Steph Gaudreau
Yeah, I will also put in that sort of like, that’s why for my perspective and my experience, the group is so powerful, also, as someone who doesn’t have as many marginalized identities as perhaps other people is, so for example, I’m in a straight size body. And so I have some people in my groups and things like that, that are in larger bodies, and like for them to be able to connect. Instead of just putting myself at the center and saying, you know, like, everybody should look like this, for them being able to connect and share their experiences together. And that’s just incredibly invaluable. So I’m glad that you mentioned the power of the group and the power of community. It’s awesome. If you had to kind of like we’re gonna be wrapping up soon. But if you had to kind of sum up our share a piece of wisdom beyond what you’ve shared here with folks who are looking to build self-trust, or they’re, you know, trying to lean into courage, what is a piece of advice, or just something that you really feel like, you want to get out there and share with everybody?

Shohreh Davoodi
Hmm, I think one of the biggest things I’ve noticed and doing coaching for self-trust is that we very often just kind of go with the flow of whatever we’ve always been doing in our lives, because someone taught it to us, or we maybe started doing it years ago, or we read it in a magazine once and it stuck in our heads. And we don’t often stop to interrogate Why am I actually doing this? Do I want to and Can I do something else? So I think for everyone who’s interested in building more self-trust, the key to doing that is you have to get to know yourself, and what you want, and what you value. And there are so many different ways to do this. But one of the easiest ones is just to start questioning things in your life or to pick something and just do it a little bit differently. And this could be as simple as like, you always take the same route to work. And today, you’re gonna just try something else and see what it feels like. Or maybe you always buy the same brand. And you’re like, I’m just gonna try a different brand. Worst case scenario is that you try something else, and you’re like, Oh, yeah, I don’t like that. I like my other way, and I’m gonna stick with it. Great. That’s good information for you to have best-case scenario is you discover something new about yourself or about things in your life. And that is such an exciting thing to do, and really helps increase cognitive flexibility and our brains, which is important. And it opens up our eyes to what we want and what we want the world around us to look like. So this very simple act of just starting to question, the things that you do automatically is super powerful.

Steph Gaudreau
I love that. We’re big fans of that around here. So I know that the listeners are gonna appreciate hearing that from somebody else other than me. And yeah, such powerful practices, everything you’ve shared with us here today is so incredibly valuable. And you know, as people are working toward deeper self-trust, I know that this episode is going to be one. That is when they come back to over and over again. You dropped so many just nuggets of wisdom along the way. And it’s just something I really appreciate. For anybody who wants to get in touch, learn more about you how they can work with you wants to follow your content. How can they do that?

Shohreh Davoodi
Sure. So my website is ShohrehDavoodi.com. I know you’ll have this in the show notes. There are three H’s and my first name y’all three, but I’m pretty much Shohreh Davoodi everywhere, I am most active on Instagram and very soon to be active on Tik Tok. I started a personal Tik Tok a while ago, and I loved it so much. I’ve decided to expand it into professionals. I just started my professional accounts. There’s exciting things coming there. I also have a weekly podcast called Conjuring Up Courage, episodes come out every Tuesday. It is like my favorite thing that I do. I love having conversations with people for the show. And in terms of working with me, there’s two main ways to work with me, they are one on one coaching, which is open most of the year. In fact, I’m onboarding some people right now. So if you’re interested, check it out at Shohreh Davoodi.com/coaching. And I also have a membership program. It’s called Follow Your Arrow and it opens up every November for the next year. So if you’re on my email list, you can hear about that when it opens up coming up in the fall. And I’m so excited to take new people into that program. It’s a full-year program. So we really get to know each other well. It’s a lot of fun. And in general, if you follow me in various places, I put out free stuff all year long. I like to do free workshops. I like to do free challenges, there’s gonna be a challenge coming up very soon. So just see where I’m at on the internet and take advantage of what I have.

Steph Gaudreau
Love it. Yeah, you have so much great stuff. You are so insightful. Again, I think like the perspective that you bring the questions that you ask the conversations that you open up, just by virtue of being who you are. And the things that you’re working on in the world are so incredibly valuable for really anybody who’s looking to do this work. And I love how you know on your website, it’s all about like the motherfucking magic, so

Shohreh Davoodi
Oh, yeah, rainbows everywhere.

Steph Gaudreau
I love it!

Shohreh Davoodi
Motherfucking magic. Like it’s very clear when you go on my website, either you like it or you don’t. And that’s the way I want it to be.

Steph Gaudreau
I love it. I love it. This has been so fun. I really appreciate you being here on the podcast and just wish you all the best with everything. This is really great.

Shohreh Davoodi
Thanks, Steph. Really appreciate you having me.

Steph Gaudreau
Thanks. All right, that is a wrap on this episode with self-trust coach Shohreh Davoodi. Thanks so much for being here. Make sure you hop over to the show notes to get all of the links to all of the great stuff that Shohreh is up to and the world and all of the resources that she has all of her programs, you know the drill on all of that you can head to StephGaudreau.com to get all of those links. And while you’re there, I have two free mini-courses for you. One is my Food Freedom mini-course. The other is my Strength Workout mini-course. So if you want help with one of those or the other or both, then head to my website and you can find links to those. You can also find them in my LinkedIn profile or over on the Gram. Okay, so go get those free resources and go get your learn on. Alright, I will be back next week with another very thought-provoking very fun episode. As always, thanks for being here. Share this episode out on Instagram, send us a DM. Let us know what you learned and what you loved. Until next week, have a great one and stay strong.

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Hi, I'm Steph!

Lord of the Rings nerd, cold brew drinker, and depending on who you ask, crazy cat lady. My mission is to help you fuel for more, not less: bigger muscles, strength, energy, and possibilities. We’ll do it with my signature blend of science, strategy…and a little bit of sass.

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